Mediation?

So, you have decided to dissolve your current relation, now what? That is a question that can have many directions and can be very overwhelming in the thick of the moment. Would the approach of working amicalby with your ex to develop a plan for your futures that is in the best interest of both of you and any children you two share be just a dream? What if it could be a reality? I am here to tell you that it can.

Mediation is a very popular way to approach dissolving a relationship that keeps the focus on the issues at hand while brainstorming together to come to resolutions that you both are agreeable to. In the state of Indiana, mediation procedures make up most of the approaches that couples use to end their partnerships and are most likely the first step couples must take before litigation and standing in front of a judge.

Statistically, mediations have a 85% success rate in reaching resolution, that is why you sometimes will here it referred to as, Alternative Dispute Resolution. It is an alternative that can be very personalized and meet the needs of both parties. It is a joint effort where you both control your futures…… not giving the courts the power to decide what is best for you and your family.

You might know what the general idea of mediation is….. but what exactly is mediation? Mediation is defined as an approach to resolution between parties by a neutral third party (the Mediator) in a confidential process that results in mutually agreed upon resolution to conflict to produce an agreement or reconciliation.

Mediations in Indiana can be approached in several ways and are not a cookie cutter approach to resolving conflict. Mediations can be one session that can last until each issue is agreed upon or it can be broken into several smaller sessions to maintain sharpness on the issues and not drain each party to the point of exhaustion. Mediation can be just between the two parties or it can be attended by legal counsel. Mediation can be joint, meaning in the same room, or it can be a shuttle type approach where parties are in separate rooms and the Mediator shuttles back and forth, neither party actually communicating directly with each other. None of these approaches are right or wrong, these just allow couples to structure their mediations to fit their needs, not a keeping up with the Jones’s approached to mediation.

What can you expect from mediation? This is one of the most important aspects of this process to understand…….from mediation you can expect your process to involve these five steps:

1. Introduction - Your Mediator will introduce the process to you and their approach to the process, this also includes ground rules for communication and any directives that need to be given before mediation commences.

2. Statement of the Issues - Each participant is given the opportunity to explain their issues, to share areas of conflict, share their memory of the issues, give historical information to support those issues.

3. Information Gathering - Hearing from both parties the meaning behind their positions on issues and gaining perspective on how they view issues and the outcomes for each party moving forward. This stage allows the Mediator to dig deeper into the reasons behind their stances on issues and allows the parties to share their feelings and to reassure their understanding of the other parties views and feelings.

4. Problem Solving / Brainstorming - This stage allows parties to sift through differing scenarios and options. It allows for give and take, for negotiation and to allow each party to offer up ideas to create a mutually agreeable solution.

5. Agreement - Finally agreements are identified and put into writing. Making outcomes to their issues clear, concrete and doable (the who, what and when). This agreement is then reviewed by counsel either at the mediation or on the parties’ own time and returned to the Mediator for filing.

TDA Mediators have not only gained the essential, state mandated training to be Registered Domestic Relations Mediators, but we have been in your shoes. We know the process, we know the struggle and we know that resolutions can be agreeable, amicable and practical. We have the ability to see both sides of the table and to stay impartial, remain neutral and to facilitate communication and direct parties to resolution.

At your consultation for mediation, you will each meet with your Mediator (jointly or independently) to determine the best approach for your family. To lay out your plan and to initiate your process. Mediation in a confidential process in and out of the mediation space, consultations are confidential and all communications leading up to, during and after your mediation sessions are confidential.

To start your journey to resolution and peace, please visit the “engage” page to request your complimentary consultation or contact Gianna directly by email or telephone.